Full Metal Niner

This is my Singlespeed. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My Singlespeed is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my Singlespeed is useless. Without my Singlespeed, I am useless. I must mash my Singlespeed true. I must mash harder than my opponents, who are trying to beat me. I must mash them before they mash me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my Singlespeed and myself are defenders of my trails, we are the masters of our opponents, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no competition, but podiums. Amen.